It can be hard in this post-apocalyptic world of ours to stay focussed on what’s important: you and the better you inside you just waiting to get out of you — like the giant tapeworms which helped bring down our civilisation.
People don’t change. (Unless they’re infected with tapeworms or the zombie virus, or if they’ve been injected with a nanite swarm by our robot enemies). Most people still look for secrets, amazing tricks and life hacks that will make everything better right away.
Unfortunately there are no “overnight successes”, not even last night’s successful overnight raid on the rival scavenger camp which had been hoarding all of those tins of premium dog food. We got the dog food, but lets never forget we had to leave old Vernon behind to slow down the human-tapeworm hybrids chasing us.
Most people still look for secrets, amazing tricks and life hacks that will make everything better right away.
Vernon was slow. He didn’t adapt. Not to the end of the world as we knew it. Not to the bullets I put into his leg as we fled the scavenger camp. And certainly not to the challenge of all those tapeworm people burrowing in through every orifice.
But think of all the incredible, adaptable people you truly admire in our post-apocalyptic world today. They didn’t succeed because of one power move. They succeeded because they followed my Top Five Amazing Self Improvement Hacks That You Need to Action Today. So stop aiming for radical personal change. A magic bullet cannot save you. But five well-aimed conventional bullets into a slow-poke like Vernon almost certainly can. I’m not saying it’s easy. But there is no more chance of escaping the hard work of self-improvement than there is of escaping the robot slave mines of Area 7. So, stop looking for “quick hacks” that bring faster results. The only hacking that works since our computers went dark is the sort involving machetes and the undead, and of course my Top Five Amazing Self Improvement Hacks That You Need to Action Today.
So stop aiming for radical personal change. A magic bullet cannot save you.
Eliminate ANTS.
Not the giant, man-eating fire ants which have proven all but impossible to eliminate, but the other, even deadlier ANTS: Automatic Negative Thoughts.
Negative thoughts happen to everyone, but the worst thing you can do is let them bring your day down. Focus on learning how you can change your perspective and realise your most fantastic self even as the world dies screaming all around us — it’s well worth the effort.
Negative thoughts happen to everyone, but the worst thing you can do is let them bring your day down.
Don’t think, omigod these human nematodes are going to catch up with us.
Think, omigod these human nematodes are my chance to finally get into Vernon’s hand-fasted woman’s hand stitched britches. Huzzah!
Staying optimistic keeps me almost as excited as those well stuffed britches. And by staying optimistic and excited, your day will always be worth it, no matter how few you have left.
In this special edition of Renegade Inc., we met up with a key adviser to PM, Boris Johnson.
We look back over the year at some of our best interviews.
A dangerous new class of socioeconomically excluded people called the precariat is on the rise.